headboy-jamespotter:
avery-g:
headboy-jamespotter:
avery-g:
headboy-jamespotter:
“Can you please not remind me? Fuck sake… I didn’t pick this!” He takes a deep breath as he shuts his eyes tight, before he looks at her apologetically. “Sorry… just, you know, touchy subject. Again i’m coming to the conclusions that maybe love just isn’t for me. Would you say? Three in one year, Merlin himself must be tossing in his grave…”
“Eep, sorry. I forget sometimes.” Avery frowned at him and then shuffled over to his side and looped her arms with his. “I take back what I said,” when he looked at her she grinned. “You sort of are a pussy.” Winking, she nudged him playfully and then sighed. “James, you fall in love way too easily and it’s always messy. Girls, they love it… for the moment, but then they get bored. Maybe you should just lay low and just roll with life. You’ve got it good here, being Head Boy and all. You’re captain of the Quidditch team, live your life. Don’t worry, being a wolf won’t harbor any of that either.”
“I just conclude that they’re all shit. I’ve already ran myself to the point of not being bothered… I don’t know if you’ve ever felt it, Avery, but when you put your everything into a person, and then they fuck you over, its hard to piece yourself back together. Three times… even though they were accidental, it felt the exact same. Don’t go telling me to lay low, because laying low for me now is to just not give a damn about anything. It sounds bratty, putting it like that, but I would… enjoy it, if someone actually wanted me, for a small change. And not just for a tiny little fuck, either. I mean, for the real deal, you know? Its all i’ve been waiting for and, well, i’m never gonna get that, am I? So… thanks for your advice, but I can’t take it.”
“Oh okay, mister fuck my life.” Rolling her eyes she pulled her arm back and looked right at him. “You like to sleep around, I know this personally and no, we’re not discussing that moment. Moving on,” she held up her hand to shut him up. “I get that it fucking sucks, but you have to just sit back and ask yourself what the hell do you really want. Everyone eventually wants love, but that’s too easy. What kind of love do you want? You don’t give people a chance to want you because you force yourself to love them wholeheartedly. Nothing is ever truly organic for you. Sure, Roslyn left you because of a job back in Spain. Sure, Artemis didn’t want to rob you of the life you have and Ember was just a crazy bitch and you should be grateful you’re not stuck with her.” Pointing right at him, she poked his chest. “Don’t stoop down into some self wallowing vagina monkey, I’d knock you off the wood myself. You are such a woman, wanting to be in love. I get it, it’s a comfort and what not but Merlin’s Cock, your seventeen. It’ll happen, James. Be a little patient and take my advice like man.”
“You mean back when I was having fun, and people told me that I should let love in and all that? Avery… life is a walking damned contradiction. Does nobody just understand my point for once?” He sighs softly as he shakes his head. “You know what? Fine. I choose to not give a single fuck. Because either way, apparently, I am wrong. And don’t say i’m a baby because its all that’s happened to me in my life, being told that I am wrong.” He takes a deep breath as he looks away from her.
“Too much, too soon, I just don’t even want it anymore… if it comes, then whatever, really. I just… i’m sick of looking for something that nobody wants to give to me, because if someone really cared, they would have done it by now in some way, but they haven’t. They’ve spoke of how they’ve always loved me, and I believed them, and let them in, and they left, and i’m okay with that but at the same time i’m not because it hurts and i’m just sick of hurting. I’ll just pursue my original idea of concentrating on Quidditch and my damned music, because it doesn’t fuck me over, and if love comes, then its a bonus. Seems fair? Or is that wrong too? I’m not being snotty… but… it frustrates me, you know? C’mon… you must know something… its driving me insane here… do you get what I mean? Its just… honest…”
“You being bitter and it’s normal. I am not going to try and bullshit you. I think you need to pick what you give a shit about. Don’t just turn it off, you’re human and sorry my darling… You’ve been bred to be a person who cares much more than you should. You can thank Harry for that, but I’m sure he’s gone through the same feelings you have, where nothing you do is right and the world is against you. I swear, it’ll get better but it could be a while. Just insure yourself a good life full of fun by choosing to have fun. All the rest, it’ll come in time. Don’t push yourself to not be you, you’ll only be more upset.” Looking down the hall, she watched people pass by without a care in the world.
“If you need anything, through the transformation and all, I’ll be there for you. One thing which helps is strong booze, oddly. Oh and getting drunk is much harder.”
